The Tao of Buddha

FIRST DAY OF SUMMER 2010

2010-06-22T06:13:00.000-07:00

you see the thing about summer is...well, the thing about summer is it makes me itch....!!!! I itch before it comes in anticipation for longer days and longer walks, and then i itch because of pollens and grass and things that sensitive people like me get sensitive to... and then i go to the parks and get in the waters which make me itch becuaswe the waters nowadays is filled with not just water but things that are made by the rich people in the world who itch i think for more money. so they invent these checmicals to make things better and faster and somehow their itching for success has trickeled down the creek to my collar and is making me itch. so i go home and take a bath to gret rid of my chejmiacal success and i feel better....much much better and my two dads give me pizza crust because they thingk i'm miserable but i'm not...i just look that way to get the pizza crust...I love summer, now i'm itching thinking about it going away....*umph*...love, boo

Holidays Suck

2008-12-08T18:59:00.001-08:00

well, here it is the holidays. another wonderful time to be left alone while the familie is out drinking and socializing and workshoping. i hate this time of year, i look out the window and see those walking by and laughing and caroling while i watch re-runs of wonderful life. Things NOT to get me for this christmas, kwanzaa, honica, pagan people holiday, and others: No more stupid outfits, no more DVD's that are boring about the world trying to save poluution or green stuff. No more stupid calendars of my relative. no more pats on the heads with no treats. no more parties with strangers and friends that don't care and please please please do not by me another carperter's christmas album. we have two already. thanks to all, have a wonder holiday.. Boo

The world in Review

2008-09-05T06:53:00.000-07:00

Good Day fellow pugs. Today is the 5 of September in the made up year of 2008. Today''s headlines China has finally finished showing that they have more money and performers than Cirque de Solay and and hoping to host the olympics every year winter and summer. Georgia and Russian are still at a stand still and currently all parties involved have un-facebooked themselves and each other. There's a woman hurrican coming called hanna who definetly is bringing gifts of hurricane parties and wet t shirt contests. The writing team Conner/Brink/Dean are back at it and writing a show about pizza. The king of pizza. it sounds yummy and fattening. Finally, there are two people running for the slot of president of the united states PTA and this one guy looks like Timmy the Turtle and this other guy looks like a black Ken. They don't really do much but talk about each other and make fun of each other's outfits and the usage of words in sentences. I'm Boo Boo Reporting From Shirleyville, Back to you Fido

DOG DAYS

2008-07-20T11:45:00.000-07:00

Today is july something. i'm not really sure where the time has gone. I apologize for apsence but I took a nap back in march and somehow no one woke me up. i'm now back on track. There isn't a picture because i've lost 22 pounds. i now weight 1. I can't walk very well because i'm draggin some of my skin which really hurts and my breath smells like a cat may have moved in. Anyway, i'm glad i woke up. It's funny. my dads didn't even notice. They're so self consumed with their sad artisan bohemian lives that they didn't realize i hadn't moved in like 5 months. oh well. i'm not pissed. but speaking of piss, i, like, wow, i used the bathroom liked for what seemed like an hour. anyway, i'm back on track all you pug friends on pug-book. Excited to see what's left of summer. And believe you me, i'm not gonna be napping any time soon. as a matter of fact i'm gonna sit right here at this dirty window and watch things go by until........like.........until maybe next week sometime. who knows. oh, wait, now i know. wait, it was february, i was having a crazy allergy attack and my festive roommates gave me an allergy pill and, oh god, i took a swig of that bottled stale yingling water stuff and , oh god, that must have been what happend. i passed out. it was like a pug roofy. we call it a poofy. o god how embarrasing. Well, now i'm depressed. no one missed me for five months. five monthsssssss. humpp. well, what's five months? it's just a mere semester in the grand college term of life. but shit, i've got to get caught up on "lost". peace out, pugs, and don't mix little pink pills with stale smelly bottled beer water. -------------------Boo

February Sucks

2008-02-23T16:23:00.000-08:00

Well, here it is fellow dog lovers and dogs. The "I can't wait til spring" post. Firstly, February is a joke. Valentine's Day came and went and of course i was lover-less. plus i'm allergic to chocolate which always complicates things. Secondly, who are these weathermen and women on the telvision? Are they serious? Why does anyone even bother listening? They are never right, they have predicted snowstorms like three time and all it does it bring in excess milk and bread into my already stocked pizza hut hut. Thirdlee, my paretns are working on a new show called kissed by the spider-one-man show and they are never home. which is very very good and very very bad. What's good, is i've got the house all to myself. what's bad is therr's really nothing to do. i can't use the remote because of the not so paw friendly buttons. i can't cook for fear the boys will get mad and there' no one to play with. Fourthly, I think any moth that doesn't have the decency to have at least 30 days should be voted out like the pluto planet. And Fifthly and finally I'm so sick and tired to listening to Hillarious Clinton and Borat you mama argue about how the world should vote them into be super heros it's making my little felt ears hurt. Anyway, i'm cool, just can't wait until March. At least there's a really cool drinking holiday and also the celebrations of Julius Caesar's murder by Brutus. Stay warm, lick some soup, watch some cooking channel (when someone else puts it on of course) and have a great rest of the month. all my love, never hesitate, cats are silly, i can't beleive the beagle won best in show this year. OH GOD, MARCH, TAKE ME AWAY!!!

Delaware is for Pugs and Lovers

2008-01-14T16:40:00.000-08:00

Well, folks. that's right. I just got back from the beach. And look close. No leash. woo hoo!!!!!!!!!! It was the most incredible feeling in the world. finally like in the movie escape from alcatraz I didn't care what happened, my spirit was finally free. Oh to be able to poop without the tug on the back of my neck. To pee and not have to balance extra chord. to run and not look back. to breath in the nasty smellin fishy air without contraint. It was glorious. Fen lickk Island is located just north of oshun city and south of doo ee. There was this cool light tower flashight thing that was a beacon of light in the night. I would highly recommended a vacation like this for any of you fellow dogs who like to do things off leash. the down side was there weren't any hot chicks. oh well. i just hung out with the dynamic duo. They watched lots of movies by jon watters and ate and ate and ate. However there are still a few rules one has to obey at the beach.

RULE NUMBER ONE: No dancing like a nelly. This has been outlawed since smelly Nelly fairbanks of Nantucket ruined it for everyone here in Della ware in 1818. Dad insisted on being

a rebel and show everyone that this is a stupid rule. If caught we would have had to pay 5 dollars and a bag of tabacco or something like that. That's me in the far left trying looking for the Nelly patrol.

RULE NUMBER TWO. No signs of affection. This is a very serious law. No one is allowed to smile or hold hands or even tell knock knock jokes. we were simply just suppost to walk and look and observe the land. The pentalty for this was two nights in the flashlight tower house. As you can see this rule was broken as well. this is us clearly showing signs of affection. Right after this picture was taken we immediately went back to staring at the beach as if one of us had dropped a nickel. I saw some boys and girls showing signs of affection but i think they must have been foreigners. P.S.. in this shot you can see the parents bought me a new vest/collar/sweater thing. It's kinda of cool.. it's stretchy and is real comfy.

RULE NUMBER 3: Never Ever Ever eat a clam that is bearded. Beards were common in the Amish who drove buggies and sold cheese. Clams that have grown up amish no-a-days is a sign of a clam that has sat in the same stagnant water for too long. this i'm sure produces of taste of boredom and untraveled. anyway Rule number 3.

Rule number 4: No writing on the beach. this is for apparent reasons. any thing written could be mis read and cause a plane or boat distress as they might think the writing is SOS. We wrot this very quickly and then erased it not to cause any delawareans alarm. it say Buddha likes Pizza. I should have wrote SOS just to see what would have happened. what is i meant. send over sausage. or she's over sized or simple orange sandles or sing out soft or shit oliver shit or sand on sissies or salt on saltines or sued over something. i'm mean think about it folks.

Lastly Rule Number Five: No Loitering. This causes people to wonder and wondering causes people to think and realize that they might be not thinking about other things. The fine is an old fashioned pink belly and a zerbert. We actually didn't realize we were even loitering until it was too late. Luckily no pink belly zerbert was issued but we probably lucked out. I actually may not have minded the zerbert. And to honest i'm not actually loitering if you look closerly you'll see that i'm aleaning a little and in the middle of changin positions. probably smelt the pizza from acrross the street. Which by the way, we had lovely lovely pizza all weekend. it was great. so there it is. the january excurshion. I would hightly recomment this vacation for those in need with a little beauty, a little sand and can put up with a few old fashioned rules. it's very well worth it. But before I go a few tips. Pack some socks, my pads almost fell off. Pack some ear plugs, the drinking noise level can get rather loud around the sleeping hours. And pack a map, man oh man was i mostly confused the whole trip wonderig where the heck i'd been. all my love and peace and hope for a better pug world. and remember when you hold in a stinker you're saving the gas levels of the earth and might have just saved the life of a chicken. enjoy the pics-Boo

what an uneventful year.........................

2007-12-26T15:39:00.000-08:00

I have never slept so much in my life. what a snooze fest. 2007. no new wars. no end to wars. no new foods. nothing interesting. strike strike and more strikes. we had more strikes this year than Bowl America down on Edsall Rd. no crazy inventions. it seems to me my fellow pugsters that the world is at a pause, a lul, a sigh if you will, perhaps the calm before the storm. perhaps the still before the stir, the numb before the pain, anyhoo.............hope 2008 is going to be exciting full of new foods, new friends, new experiences, new bushes, new hump partners, new licks and especially new treats. What the world needs next year is definetly a new treat. Who knows it might even be Hillary. now that would be a treat kids. As you can tell from this pic i'm very excited about the coming year. DONT HATE, APPECIATE IN 08 P.s. Who is old lange zine? -BOO

5 years old!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-04T18:28:00.000-08:00

happy birthday to me. happy birthday to me. happy birthday dear me me and me. happy birthday to me. well. i now know what the meaning of "tick tick boom" the musical really means. turning another year older really sucks. "Stop the clock, take time out, time to regroup before you lose the bout.............. oh, speak it jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway i'm 5 years old today. which is weird, because as a five year old, i have all of my adult teeth. in dog years, i'm now 35 years old but haven't even been to school yet. 4 years ago today my house burnt. 20 more days til christmas. and 3 days til pearl harbor. great. anyway, i love you all and hope you share in my enthusiastic joy, it's my birthday. Yah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Things i want to do before next birthday: have sex, see a pug in the white house, start my own line of pug hoodies and lingerie line, would love to go back to school, just kidding, start school, would love some straight porn in the house, would love less musicals in the house, wish vivian the cat would move and take george bush, and finally before i turn six i would love to go sky diving or drive a race car or something amazingly daring......................just kidding, all i wish is for one more year with pizza crust and chicken jerky. love,,,,,,boo the 5 year old. Five! 5! cinco! AAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL................................................oh well, it's fine, i'm fine, it's fine...............it's fine.................................................

Boo Flu

2007-11-07T15:29:00.000-08:00

Well, my daddy is sick. and when daddy is sick, eveyone is sick. He's been on the couch for the last couple of days and is disturbing a couple of my daily routines but i'm not gonna say anything. My dad was feeling a little run down last week but as usualy kept up his usual "i want to live in America" routine. but then on monday during a rehearsal of Funny Girls He made a mad dash for the bathroom and unleashed the depths of hell. I say to myself "god is trying to tell you something". He made it through the show pretending he wasn't so puny, but has been on my beat ever since. We've watched little whores on the prairies, Sleepy Hello and lots and lots of QVC. I'm sure he'll be back to himself soon. Keep him in your thoughts and peace for now; Boo

Marco!Polo!.........Marco!Poodle?... Mastiff??Pugle?

2007-09-17T22:09:00.000-07:00

Ok, guys, this is sooooooooooo wierd. Pool Day at the, well, pool. So me and one of the "funny" guys took a walk and we found these crazy dogs and their owners having a pizza/pool party without the pizza. We walked in and I acted like i wanted to be there but it was really weird. first of all, After 3 months of summer do I really want to swim in half of arlington counties children's urine? I know, I know, i lick my butt, but still. second of all some of these dogs weren't even dressed in proper bathing outfits. whatever happend to bathing suits. I mean I saw more nipple than I ever cared to see and why do some of the older dogs with big bellys insist on wearing speedos. if you're gonna do that you can at least like trim. some of these guys had side burns hanging from their legs. grossSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! After a while the pool looked like a floating beard. anyhoo, this poor doggies below was over it too. He got mad because someone stole his noodle. And that's another thing. what's up with all of the noodle stealers nowadays.

I tell you one thing, some little yorkie tried to steal my noodle and I told him that if it weren't for me and my asian brethren there wouldn't even be noodles. I don't think he got it. any way.

I got out of the water. looking for pizza , of course. No, pizza. what kind of pizza/pool party is this anyway? I finally decided to take things in my own paws. I'll show them. Stepford Shirlington Wives. They'll see. Little did they know i used to be a swimmer back at pug U.

Which we used to call P.U. and I know all the rules. So i went to the shallow end. figuring most of the Fairlingtonians would be there. Get it, shallow. And hence I started stating and barking the rules to unruly wolves. "Hey you, no more noodle taking", " hey blondie, get your brothers poo out of the pool" , "Weiner dogs, get out of the deep end", "And you, you Great Danes, stop being so Great", oh wait those aren't great danes, those are those are the Reaganthaws that live next door. "Sorry" "Nice pool/pizza day, huh?" i was embarrassed. i wanted to leave. I guess i should act like i'm sunburnt and leave. So I climbed up on these strap chairs and dryed off while some guy was nice enough stand around with this I-have-a-lot-of-money-so-i'll-put-my-flashlights-in-my-shoes guy. Acted like i was smiling at all the lovely people and quickly gave myself a shake. Well, great. what a way to end summer. I guess summer is sort of new years eve. there's so much pressure on the event, the event passes and you're still waiting for something to begin even as it is ending. I grabbed my towel, blocksun, sarong wrap-around (it was a gift). Anyway, found the gay day and he was talking to white dog and another white dog. Gotta run, sorry, this blog is a little crazy. my paws are still a little wet and to be honest i'm feeling like i might have the runs. I know that shepherd let one rip in the pool. Hope we're invited back next year, but honestly who cares. Falls a round the corner, get out a sweater and snuggle with some friends, -Boo

Chinese Laundrymat

2007-09-17T21:59:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to help out around the hous. I know, I know. I started with the laundry. Here I am sorting the whites and the colors. but some of the whites are really white anymore. do i put them in the almost white pile or the almost colors pile. Let's see. What to do? What to do? I know I'll just put them in one big pile and and take it step by step. One sock, One tee, dirty underwear, jeans, jeans, jeans, matches, dollar bills, coins, chapstick, etc. Tank tops, shorts, dress pants, dress shirts, boxers, briefs, bikinis, short sleeve, long sleeve, khaki, old, new, borrowed, stolen, oh my god, i can't take it, what to do? How do these people from my country do it? I can't take it. It's too much. I'll never be able to be a dry cleaner. or a wet cleaner. or a cleaner cleaner. oh god. I know. take a breath.

That's better. Maybe tomorrow. Love, Boo

Contest!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-09-17T21:55:00.000-07:00

My dear doggies friends and unfriends I'm currently hosting a contest to give this foto a title. I found it in my captors camera. I am without words. As a matter of fact in my language I don't think there are enough words. The wiener of the contest gets a surpise gift or maybe just a surprise. -vote for oprah, love Boo

Summer in Review

2007-08-28T06:44:00.000-07:00

O Summer, how you bring the early sun
O Summer, Claritin for everyone
O Summer, the sights, the noise, the air
O Summer, this year was hard to bear
O Summer, Global Warming's friend
O Summer, I've got Desitin on my end
O Summer, See you in a year
O Summer, I hope I still have a rear

I would just like to point out that with the beauty of the summer months, along come the torturous and painful months. Summer can be very slimming. I walk til I sweat and eventually pass out on random sidewalks and stoops. Summer can also be filled with critters. They annoy me and make noise and try to bite me in places that I can't reach. Rude. Summer can also bring aler G's. These aler G's make me sneeze, whoop and scratch until my fur comes off and I look like a nuclear hologram victim. This year I spent most of my evenings watching re-runs of Battlestar Galactica and applying Neosportin. fun. Anyway summer is fading fast and I've got a little smirk. But I would like to point out some highlights:
The UPS man came twice
Vivian the cat dropped some weight
I'm now getting home cooked meals (chicken, rice, carrots, green beans)
My really "happy" dads are never home, except to answer the cell phone
Jerry Fallwell died
I went swimming in the Arlington creek twice (although I think i've devveloped Malaria)
and most of all Summer equals longer light to look at the really important people across the street who have the mmost money and happiness in the entire world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Peace out pug subscribers and relax Fall is on the way! -BOO

Spring Training

2007-05-20T14:51:00.000-07:00

Ok, guys sorry about this. But just wanted you to hear it from me before these pictures started circulating. This isn't what it looks like. I currently am teaching a class in Pug-a-lates. it's a mixture of pilates and pug humping. what you see here is a technique that is most common, it's called the brown eyed mambo. it burns 150 calories if done for 2 minutes or 200 calories if you're wearing a warm sweater. It's that perfect workout when you're on the go. just grab someone at the check out line or a nearby jogger in the park. Gret for abs, ass flaps and nipplage area.
This pug-a-lates move is called the "reach around". Grab a partner and go from side to side sniffing and concentrating on short breaths. Do this for about 3 minutes or until you feel really light headed. If your partner smells of dung or urine you may want to just do the 1 minute "quickie". "The Fire Hydrant". Great for the "give them something to hold on onto" muscles. This exercise is great with just a tree or bush. First drink a least a gallon of water or green tea. Let out a little pee on the tree or bush, then just simply spend 30 minutes trying to beat your own record. You may need to refill or buy one of those sippy hats to wear. Never try this with a friend or partner unless you know him or her really well. This friend in this pic is R. J. he's just making sure I don't cheat. He's a pretty good ump. Burns 180 calories in winter and fall. Around 190 in summer and spring.
And finally the "four legged relay". This is great during an afternoon of frollicking. just get some friends together and run from thing to thing. there are no rules and no guide lines. just run run run. althought stopping to sniff or scratch could make you disqualified depending on the county. This burns 5 calories every 2 minutes. ok, that's it guys. sign up now if you want to take my class. the park is filling up pretty quick. and i give discounts to fatty fats. That's it. have a great Memorial Day and rememer to "push " away from the table or bowl. Buddha say: Thin dog may be unhappy but look good!!!!!!!!!!!!! Peace-Boo.

P.S. Chinese Torture

2007-03-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

one other thing about these forturne cookies from Aunt chin. As legend goes: a long time ago, in the palace of the king lived a pug named poo poo. (Which is also the origin of poo poo platter but that's another blog). He was the most courageous and strong of his breed but would bark at every thing. wind. whispers. bees. whatever. so the king figured out that by placing the whole forturne cookie in his mouth, he had at least a good 4 hour nap until the cookie was moist enough to finally let way to the jaws for delicious chewing. this technique is still found in remote places around the world. it has now been passed down in American parents in the form of suckers, binkys, bottles and gobstoppers. peace, pizza, pugs Boo

Chinese Wisdom from Aunt Chin

2007-03-20T15:20:00.000-07:00

Clearly Chinese New Year was a ways back. But like always, I normally recieve gifts from the relatives a little late. Some because the mail can delay and some because my relatives have to save up enough money by selling chicken lips and occasional secret shopper jobs at the open air mart. Anywhoo. My good old aunt Chin never fails. she sent me a whole box, all to my self, fortune cookies. I was so excited. "Happy Chinese New Year" i yelled and danced, even though there was no one in the house. But I am sure that bastard cat across the street sunning himself heard. I'm sure most of you are accustommed to the fortune cookie tradition. Open the cookie and get a fortune. Simple. Well I was very excited. Here I am getting ready to open the first one. My silly mom was home from her Meat John and Joe show at the Fords Motor Company Theatre. And to my surprise the Great ancient wisdom from the cookie that has been passed down from years and years in secret dark hallways was pretty dumb. Things like "Confucius say, short-haired dog shed light on subject" or "Confucius say hot dog have warm buns." Wow, thanks Aunt Chin how exciting.

I don't know what got into me but as I was sitting and just watching this episode of this really smart, well-thought idea called something about Grease. I think it's called Let's get greased!!! anyway, they're looking for the next Dandy and Sandy in this show and I love it. It's really exciting to see each week, anywhoo, the gal I wanted to win got knocked out of the competition, all at once I bite into my cookie. oh my gosh, how dare they!!!!!!!!!! my eyes are glued in disbelief. in a hypnotic state i slide the blessing of blessing wisdom from out the cookie. "be careful where you poop, you could ruin your tomatoes". What???? What the...............? I kinda fell apart. First Melody gets voted out and Confucius say I should watch where I poop? I couldn't take it. I smashed it into little bit's like the mirror song in tommy. oh well. that's it. thanks Aunt Chin, who has many these days and thanks alot Confucius whom i think might be called Confusing. peace out, pizza crust and pugs. Boo-

Coming Clean

2007-03-11T08:02:00.000-07:00

Sorry fellow friends. Wow, what a roller coaster this has been. First, i'd like to appalogize for not being so uup on my blog. Blogging is sometimes a pain and lately, like the past 3 months, it's been a night mare. Everytime I go to blog something would stop my post from being posted. And I finally realized. I'm being discriminated against. WAIT, they know I'm a dog and they're trying to get rid of the canine bloggers club. AH HA!!! Well, lick my ball place. You can't do that. Any one is allowed to blog and complain and pee and laugh and bark where ever and when ever they want. It's America for Buddha's sake. And not to mention, when I check my comments, the comment are as follows: PLEASE TRY THIS NEW MIRACLE CREAM, IT WILL REALLY MAKE A CREAMY MIRACLE. OR. DO YOU WANT TO MAKE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS JUST BREATHING? WELL, BE A PART OF A BREATHING EXPERIMENT AND WE WILL GIVE YOU A DOLLAR EVERYTIME YOU LET OUT A BREATH. SNEEZING AND FARTING COULD DAMAGE THE CONTROL GROUP, SO IF YOU'RE A SNEEZER OR A FARTER PLEASE DON'T APPLY. OR THIS IS MY FAVORITE. VPT JJL 398YHASB APER8TYP . What the heck is that? A license plate in BUDDHA-pest? Come on crazy blogger stop trying to ruin my plan to enlighten the world, or at least virginia, or maybe King St. with the hateful comments and your testy ways to blog. I'm calling the mayor of........................the mayor of.........................of............BLOG PEOPLE. i mean BLOG ANIMALS. BLOG THINGS!!!!!and i'm gonna give them a peice of my mind cause they're really urking a peice of my tail. oh, well, that's it. i'll hopefully be blogging again soon. probably after the Blog Things Committee Group gets my gripe and sends me coupond for free Blog Things. Blog hats, Blog Thongs, Blog Blogs. I love it. See if you bark loud enough, someone's bound to throw you a bone, even if it's to shut you up.

Buddha's thought for the day:: Stop finding happiness in this blog. Your inner blog is waiting to be read and loved as well.

Christmas List for 2006

2006-12-08T12:20:00.000-08:00

1-Brand new leash, not with twinking see me in the dark pee lights 2- how about a solid color coat for the winter months rather than a print 3- frozen green beans, don't have to be organic 4- titties, i would love a pair of eleasha titties 5- vanilla yogurt 6- turkey dogs 7- anything containing animal fat 8- carrots 9- new chewies 10- Incredible Four DVD P.S. if you've got the money, could we get a new place to live, I hate the neighbors and please LOTS LOTS AND LOTS OF PIZZA KRUTZ!!!!!!!!!!

Go fetch it yourself..................

2006-12-04T14:56:00.000-08:00

Today is my 4th Birthday. Sing along:
"Happy Birthday to Boo, Happy Birthday to Boo, Happy Birthday dear Buddha, we're sorry you live with lillians and you were stolen from china and now you eating disorders and sometimes are depressed, Happy Birthday to Boo"!!!!!!!!!!!!!Beautiful everyone. thank you. 4 years old is 28 in human age. 27 if you do the multiplication wrong and 29 if you wanna lie and sneak into pugs, i mean pubs. I won't be fetching anything today. no papers, no socks, no cheap toys from total family discount strip malls, no sticks, nada, nothing, zilch. I will poo and pee when and where I want and I will demand a pizza crust party. I love pizza crust parties. The "girlie girls" threw me a party last year, but didn't get any pizza. What's a pizza crust party without pizza? i'll tell you what it is. it's called movie night with some boring frilly musical. I think last year for my birthday we watched "It's a wonder turd life and then How the gimp stole Chris musk. oh well. as long as it's not cats. Well, Happy Birthday to me. light a candle wherever you may be and think cool thoughts my way. Hope I get a new blankie or something to chew. Saggitarians rule-Boo

Happy Turkey Day

2006-11-17T09:21:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note out to all my peeps. Be cool next week. relax. reflect. lick something. thank god that the white man has raped a pillaged to get what he wants. just think without the white man there would be no indian reservations with awesome casinos, no pugs stolen from the Chinese and no cool wars that allow us to build beautiful memorials for the lost. And let us not forget those awesome Jim Crow laws. Next week. Give thanks, wear a hat for one of the oddest holidays in history. "Hey, I just killed you kids and your ugly wife, ya'll wanna come over tonight for some soup?" weird. peopel are weird. until next time........be nice to somebody and sit on some laps -Boo

My frends are your frends 2

2006-11-17T09:01:00.000-08:00

Another great person...........uh, animal that is in my life is Vivian. Vivian is a kat. here she is walking the fence like she does almost everyday. We're really good friends. She lives a couple of doors down and sometimes enjoys singing kat songs outside in the patio. she doesn't sound that good but I don't let her know. She enjoys mice (alive or dead), she likes cheese and loves to look through the trash. it's kind of embarrassing, becasue she will often ask me for food and I don't have any. I've had to come out and tell her that i only get fed once a day and that only when "the twirlies" feel like opening the can. Vivian and I have known each other for like years but we don't see each other a whole lot. she's always running around with some other kats or just out looking at stuff by herself. The most embarrssing moment was once i caught her out back doing the "you know what" with some other guy kat. At least i hope it was a guy kat. it sounded like it may have been a baracuda or wolf. But I was out back late just sky watching and smoking my pipe when i heard it. low at first and then louder. sounded like a squeaky backdoor that needed some oil on the hinges. well, i wasn't far off. After a few minutes i tried to sneak back in the house without them hearing me but i sneezed, as pugs often do. i froze. oh shoot. Buddah? is that you? she said. I answered like i was kinda out of it like i was on cough medicine. I explained that I had just come out for a quick pee and was going back to bed. and that I did. She never did bring it up ever again and i acted like i heard nothing. But sometimes on a quiet night, if you stand still and hold your breath, you can hear her. I hope she's not a hooker or something. i really like Vivian. perhaps she's just experiementing and will settle down soon. Anyway, wow, i can't belive i actually just told the world this. So, that's Vivian the kat. or should i say the ho-bag. just kidding. i don't judge, i simply report the news. Peace, Pugs and Pizza Crust, -Boo

My friends are your frends

2006-10-02T16:53:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the first of a series called "my friends are your friends". I am happy today to kick off the Fall with one of my closest friends. He's one of those guys that i don't get to see very often but when i do, we just pick up where we left off. We met about this time last year and he hasn't changed a bit. But before we start the interview I'd like to just speak for a moment about my raindow colored mommies. Theyve been a little out of hand lately, never home and always smelling of booze. They're latest fad is inspired by some stoopid show called "The projects on the Runways". it's where these crazy people compete to see who can fold and wash clothes faster or something and at the end of every show there is a parade or something and the person who has a friend that wore the worst outfit is told to cry and go upstairs to pack their unfolded, unwashed clothes. Anyway this purple wrap i'm sporting in the picture is embarrassing and freakish. They ordered it from last season's winner Ckloey. I think i look like an immigrant on ellis island trying to insist to the clerk to let me into america so i can breed and sleep. Enough of that!!!!!!!!On with My 1st Friend on "MY FRIENDS ARE YOURS" . This is Rodney. Rodney is a skwirhl. He lives in Fairlington but was born across the street. He is an only child. He is 3. He is very funny and like to look at stuff. He eats 97 different kinds of nuts and seeds. He likes to play "red light, green light". He wants to grow up and be in cartoons. Here he is practicing his "red light" position. He can stay in this position for hours. Rodney is a really good friend and i'm glad he comes by. I know from the looks of this picture it may seem that Rodney has eaten a lot of this tree but he hasn't. That is another friend. That is "there's-a-scary-lady-across-the-street-with-a-limb-wacker-friend". she's crazy. Rodney and I call her Thudumpy Butt. because one day after it rained she's was walking outside in these loud boots that sounded like "Thudumpy-thudumpy-thudumpy". I know. Dumb. Well. That's all folks. hope you enjoyed Rodney my friend. He's really cool. We've never really talked much. But who needs a lot of conversation when one just wants a little company. He'll be gone for the winter. he's goes someplace somewhere called something like cybernation. I think it's an online cafe but don't know. thanks rodney for your time and for sharing your nuts. Til the next frineds are friends, i'm your host- Boo

Congrats Lynn and Ivan Sherry

2006-09-25T20:15:00.000-07:00

well, my girlfriend Sadie is absolutely pooped from the last week's events. Her mom got married in Cananda. Here's a little pic of her taking a breather. Sadie was the "flower girl" and managed to get down the aisle with the bouquet only partly chewed. The day before the wedding she helped her mommie, Ms. Lynn Filusch-Sherry, wait........is it Sherry-Filusch, or......Filusherry? Sherriloosh? Filerry? Ferry? Shilusch? I don't know. everytime Sadie called home she couldn't pronounce it due to too many spirits. Anyway, the day before the wedding she had to help clean up bird poop that was all over the place where the blessed event should take place. It's some kind of Canandian Geese blessing to poop all over a wedding of a native and an imigrant. Go figure!!!! Anyway, congratulations to an amazing couple. P.S. my two dads had to miss the party because they were in rehearsal for my Fairy lady. it's sounds kinda weird. some show about a woman who learns how to talk. Isn't that like the Miracle worker? oh well. rest my sadie and take a breather. i'm sure you looked stunning in your tight Maple Leaf Sports bra and matching panties as you strolled down the aisle.......... love to lynn and ivan. boo

Ocean city bitch

2006-09-09T17:07:00.000-07:00

My summer vacation at the bitch, ocean city bitch............well, where do i begin? 1st of all, our room was no bigger than this blog which was fun. I could do things like stand or sit or lay down and with clever positioning could even turn around. Some of these pics represent my daily and evening walk. As you can clearly see I am practically the only pug in sight and am in the minority. The good thing was meals. I got left-over-let's-go-get-some-pizza-I'm-really-drunk PIZZA. I also got oh-my-god-i-need-some-grease-i'm-so-hung-over EGGS and SAUSAGE SANDWICHES. one night i even had hey-i-paid-28-dollars-for-this-ghetto-buffet-i'm-gonna-put-some-hot-dogs-in-my-purse HOT DOGS. So that was fun. During the day I mostly watched Telemundo for pugs and ocean city bitch porn. Sleept some and also caught up on some really awesome reading. As you can see from the pic below the boys really tried to keep the fancy hotel room really tidy with a big place for me to sleep on the bed. To the right was a restaurant that refused to serve me and my kind. there was a sign out front that read NO DOGS. What? How can you own a restaurant at the bitch and not serve dogs? A bitch IS a dog? oh well. their lose.. I pissed all over there stoop. I won't be going back there any time soon. So, my Fodor's rating of the trip would be as follows: Drive down: (1) could only see dashboard lights and radio dials. Scenery: (4) trashiy tourists, beer cans, cigarette butts and tacky signs. Food (a defineite 10) pizza, hot dogs and breakfast sandwiches. Hotel room (8) it was nice but filled with stuffed animals and and an impossible to clean sandy tile floor. And fellow pugs always remember when your fairy parents keep getting in your little stinky smooshy face and saying "we're going to see the bitch, you've never seen the bitch have you?" and things of such manner, always remember they don't mean some hottie-smokin'-i'm-gonna-lick-your-ears bitch, they mean trashy-beer-drinkin-long-car-ride-down-get-me-out-of-this-motel-with-crazy-animals-i-gotta-poo bitch. The OCEan City BITCH. next year, i'm going to Denver. Boo. Peace out to all the pugs in the world.

Summer Ode to my gal Sade

2006-08-15T16:30:00.000-07:00

this should be read as a beautiful Shakespeere style sonnet...............................................................As the summer looses her grip, as the autumn begins to awake, let us not forget the seasons nor our love forsake. As the moon changes her face and the winds blow anew, don't forget to call my ass and I'll call you. Just remember I love you and it will be alright. The answer my friend is blowing in the win. Sometimes when we touch , the honesty's too much and I have to break down and cry. I want to hold you till I yawn, till we both sleep til dawn, I want to hold you til the end of time. Sadie, Sadie lady, you make me crazy, crazy fro feeling so lonely. I'm crazy crazy for feeling so blue. think of me think of me fondly when we kiss goodbye, remember onec in awhile please promis me you'll try, Sadie, I miss you and hope you miss me. Boo

Casting Couch

2006-08-15T16:09:00.000-07:00

Ok, now a days there seems to be a plethra of overnight success stories. With the world wide web and blogs and webcams and such everyone can get anything anytime one wishes. with that said, I decided to put my skills to the test and try my own reality podcast. I'm auditioning this week and this was my first audition. This is a pic of him right after his monologue from "Stop and piss on the flowers". I wasn't impressed and everyone always picks that same monologue. Anyway after a long audition I decided to give this pup a shot but all he did was name drop and talk about himself. He was in a puppy chow commercial, He was working with Dog Eat Dog Agency, He was on the short list for an Animal Planet stanby, He thought about giving up the business until his last cabaret where some old faggy guy told him that he was the inspiration for an online column, He was pissed about not being called back for Scratch and Sniff the musical, He, He, HE<>

Summer Heat

2006-08-03T22:00:00.000-07:00

If I still had balls, I would be sweating them off. but instead I'm sweating off all eight nipples. Seven of which still work. Hope everyone is staying cool. I'm over it. what the hell? But my great grandpug used to say "this too shall pass" . Tips for keeping cool: Drink lots of water, Drink lots of beer and then pass out and wake up tomorrow, when taking a walk run through the neighbors sprinkler, remove sports bra and go naked, apply ice cubes to ears, tongue and ankles, and when all else fails stay inside with your gay parents and watch project runway or reruns of the latest horror film. hope all the pugs are well. pray for the pugs and their owners in the middle east. Boo

To whom it may concer

2006-07-29T08:52:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is the deal.............lately, for whatever reason I'm having a difficult time trying to post stuff. Either the pics won't load. or the draft won't save or whatever. Not sure what has been happening, but it's probably some technical thing. But just to catch up, Went to a civil war park a couple of weeks ago and got to see "historical" stuff. Kinda cool. Actually kinda hot. I alsmost sweated my where-my-doo-dads-used-to-be off. It's no wonder the south lost, I mean they had signs pointing to where they were. Duh. Maybe they should have pointed them the other way. makes no difference. It was kinda filled with mixed emotion to think that possibly Stonewall PugJackson or General Grant and his poodle "cheeseball" quite possibly could have marked this spot. Not to mention the other civil war greats Ty Cob, Rolling Rock or maybe General Tso. But me and the "Fabulous Brothers" had a pretty good time. what's up with this "Birds Only" sign. didn't segregation end? Racist bastards. anyway, i hope all is well. Peace out, Pugs Rock.

Happy Fourth!!!!

2006-07-04T20:18:00.000-07:00

Well, it's a success. another wonderful holiday entirely devoted to conquering a people and taking over a land for the advancement of hotels and strip malls. Daddy had to sling hash this morning at the restaurant and tomorrow's is Mommy' B-day. I just wanted to give a shout out to all the American Pugs out there who might be celebrating or not this holiday. We watched the fireworks on TV which is kinda weird. there were like millions of people just gathered for like hours to watch wat seemed like only moments of a bunch of sparkly things in the air that after a while got really smoky and you really couldn't see the sparkly things but everyone who had waited for hours to see it still pretended it could be seen and the smoke wasn't there because they didn't want those around them to feel like they had waited all day. After a few moments of this the night sky sort of resembled any local bar. smoky and kinda sparkly. anyway, i'm just thankful today that somebody came to this great land and enslaved, killed, raped, smacked, pushed, cursed, kicked and quite possibly threw things at to establish the forerunners in business of the western world: pet smart, BP gas stations, CiCi's Pizza, Krispy Kreme, Walmart, Washington sports Club, Disney Store, Landmark Mall, Wet, RFK stadium, Marshalls and Guapos to name a few. It was hot as balls today and at least I got some steak, hot dogs and chicken out of the deal. Happy Indeepeendance Day fellow Pugs!!!

De Ja Boo

2006-06-26T07:15:00.000-07:00

ok, so here it is........9 ish maybe. the fruitys aren't gonna be home until later for whatever fruity reason. I had just gotten into this kinda cool forhen film. I couldn't understand it nor read the subtitles, but it looked interesting and there were lots of outdoor scenes that made me miss my old backyard. Anywho, i noticed it was starting to rain a little and didn't much think about it much, but as I watched my televizon, I realized the rain was coming down cats and more cats and the lightning was kinda scary. Then the movie went off and the cable was done and I noticed Rine coming out of his room and sorta making these noises. He was talking on the phone with Dad and evidently had asked him to check the basement. Well, to all of our surprises, it happed again. Another minor major FLOOD. except this time no poop. Yeah!! Although I think all the excitement made me want to poop, but I won't mention it. Oh no, First the Fire and then W, and now THIS? what is happening. I feel certain this is god's way of getting back at us for living a wicked evil oh I don't know. For Buddha sake, now I feel guity for seeing a few forhen nipples on the tele. Oh well, Rine goes back to his room and he baracades the downstairs so I can't go down there, I hear him say something about a humming. He's certain the water has touched the outlets and the basement is now "hot". I glance through the crack, a technique I learned in doggy Prep, and there it was low and behold, the final scene from the Posiden Adventure without Shelly, the icy cold waters of the Atlantic without Jack or Rose, Jock Coosto without a Jock. I knew the boys would be upset when they came home especially mom. The storm finnally subsided and the girls came home and to my surprise we had pizza and mozzarella sticks and went to sleep watching mommie dearest narrated by john waters. Wow, wat a night. I know this sounds crazy, but if a natural near death experience equalls pizza...................I'm all for it. Hope it rains this afternoon Papa John. ......Boo

Favorite Pug Picks

2006-06-06T19:24:00.000-07:00

Green beans. Rubber Ducks. Bush. Any bush. Bark from trees. Chicken breast. Socks. Pizza Crust. Hebrew National Hot Dogs. Squeakers. Wiffers. Sounds of opening Lay potato chips. Walks. Ice. Head pats. Rays of Sun through a random pane. Cheese. Peanut Butter. cookies from Barkley Square in Old Towne alexandria. Greenies. (although I don't get those anymore cause mom thinks they kill.) kisses. scratches. tennis balls. tennis courts. the park. (especially when Eloise is there). Otis and Milo. Logo channel. (just kidding, said that in case the pink ladies are reading). toilet tissue. naps. naps. naps. licks. bugs. cook outs. Uncle Fred. Aunt Eleasha. Ryan. Grass. not weed. just grass. rocks. carrots. crackers. Arlington county tap water. Guess that's it. Boo

My first Break!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-06-03T11:50:00.000-07:00

Well, the "lillians" have been working very hard lately on some show called Zazzins and it's been nice because i've had a lot of time to lick and sniff. But my lick time might come to an end. I just received a call yesterday from my Casting Agent. Her name is Bernice. I'm under contract with this new company called Pa's and Paws. They mainly work with old men and dogs. Anyway, I've been submitted to signature to understudy. Wow, I actually could maybe go on and be on stage with my two fairy parents. Just wanted to give you guys the good news. The bad news is I went to see the show last night and my character gets shot in the beginning of the scene. So i'm practicing being real still and trying not to lick the fake ketchup blood off my fur. Rehearsals start next week so if I get the part i'll let you know and of course i'll definetly call if i ever go on. Just the thought makes me yawn with anxiety. I'll also be working with Donna Migliochios. I hope she likes pugs. Anyway keep your digits crossed. Bernice my agent is also coming to see the show. She thinks that Daddy Mat might be on the verge of looking like a Pa. Sometimes I think she's wright. Peace out, Save the Pugs and Lots of licks. Boo

Stupid Human Tricks

2006-05-09T16:26:00.000-07:00

Ok, I don't get it. Last night the "Nellies" were watching some wacko hold his breath in this big giant fish bowl that he had been in since like last week or something. first of all: GROSS!!! I know I might lick my no-no spot but I don't stand in my no-no spot mixed with water for like a week in the middle of new york. gross!! But my real issue is the actual trick. think about it fellow pugs, He held his breath. yep, you heard me, held his breath. that's not a trick, it's stupid. if you hold your breath you DIE. I have an idea, how about if i go on Animal Planet and tell them I'm going to eat on national tv for a whole week and I'm gonna tape up my turd hole and not poo for a whole week and then for my finale on the last day, I'm gonna run around as fast as I could until my heart goes into cardia arrest and see if I can still hold my poo. Would that count as a trick. NO!!!!!!!!!!!! It's not a trick, it's stupid. Human tricks are dum. I can hide a bone in the backyard and dig it up 365 days later. That's a trick. My cousin Vinnie is a bloodhound and he can track a coon for 49 miles, catch him and then carry the dead thing back 49 miles and patiently wait for left overs. That's a trick. My uncle Carson, the Rottweiller, he can lick his own sack. That's a trick. come on pugs. take a stand. call your congressman. email David Blaine. this is outrageous. just a thought..........................Boo

Dogster

2006-05-07T21:57:00.000-07:00

I just registered on Dogster.com to try and meet other friends in the area...friends who might have a file or crowbar to get me outta the poof den...
here is my profile...

Pet Peeves

2006-04-26T16:30:00.000-07:00

This post is devoted entirely to "pedigree fuckers". Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish on my aunt edna's grave to be a mutt, but sometimes being a pure bred has it's disadvantages. Ladies and Gentleman exhibit A, Sean McGloklin and girlfriend Leslee.They are both living in NY and Sean has been in three broadway shows which somehow entitles him and his gal the "i know pedigree dogs mentality". Dude, chill out. you don't know me just because you watch Animal Planet. You think you do because you've seen others like me and you think we all look and act the same. The two of them don't know this but if you look close you can see my paw on Shon's right arm is resting very stoicly and proud, but in reality I secretly ran through a little pile of backyard brownies right before the shot. Do I have to spend the rest of my life with these kind of crazy fans thinking I'm some kind of Pure Breed Star? Don't they know this is how Lady Diana tragically ended her days. She was chased by Pedigree fuckers down some scary tunnel in France. There was probably a whippet or a boston terrier or maybe a pugle in the back of the car truth be known. Ladies and Gentlemen, View Example B. Mr. Mark Koodish. He was recently down to preform in the Yellow Show at Signature and somehow that gave him the "I know all about these little guys" award. And then he has the audacity to offer me a comp ticket to his chitty chitty bang bang show on BROADWAY all because he thinks we can exchange digits and stuff. sorry Mike or Marc or Mary or whatever your name is I don't need a longer Christmas list if you know what I mean. My friendster list is filled. He doesn't know that there's a proper way to handle an expensive pedigree like myself and the way he has me cocked for this picture he actually made me throw up a little in my mouth. It was a little gross, because I had just eaten a cricket and her baby cricket and when I spit up in my throat a little itty bitty leg came out of my mouth and right after the pic Marck leaned down and gave me a "let's be secret lovers" smooch and he totally touched the dead cricket leg. Yes!!! Damn pedigree fucker, that will teach ya. Anyway, that's my vent for this week. Gotta run, the rainbow sisters are fixing dinner. They're pedigree fuckers too, but I gotta love 'em, they feed me.

Ode to S-

2006-04-18T17:36:00.000-07:00

Sades, How wonderful it was to see you last week. Your smell still lingers on. I'll make this brief as I'm going to see the cherry blossoms or at least what's left of them. Best of luck with your new job, I think selling meds online is kinda cool and Drugs for Pugs is kinda catchy. Hopefully I'll be in NY soon. Congrats to your mommy on the engagement. I think Ivan is neat and a really good scratcher. The queer guys have been watching this stupid show on TeeVee called the Dog Whispers or something and this weirdo shows everybody how to get the dog to do stuff and things. It's kinda weird. Mom's trying this new thing to get me to stop barking at the neighborhood kids. Get this!!! I bark, then he puts his hand on the back of my neck and he makes this sound like he's throwing up and when i look at him like, "what are you doing dog whisperer-man?" he stops. I think he thinks its working, but he doesn't know that I'm only stopping because his leaking air sound and girly softball touch has me about ready to piss on my left paw. Anyway, if your folks turn it on that channel, totally get sick or something and DIVERT, DIVERT!!! Sorry about the night before you left. I think things like that happen to all guy dogs. I'll make it up to you next time, my little snausage. Ok, better run. Love to everyone in the Big Aple and remember the "light in the loafers" boys will be doing a show soon and you can call til 11. your, Boo

Pugs Gone Wild

2006-04-03T20:24:00.000-07:00

What an amazing weekend. It was beautiful. I was very lucky because I had a little time to hit the Arlington Beach and catch some rays and see some beach bods and babes celebrating the beginning or near beginning or spring break. Oh just the idea made my teeth tingle. I took a quick nap so I could be rested for the event and not miss a sniff. I have learned from experience that a well rested physical and a crystal clear mind definetly enhance the antics that sometimes surface to the top of the social pond. Mom woke me up and quickly gathered my things. My cute Hawaiin collar, my red retractable leash and a few poop bags. The poop bags are fun for parties like this because any of the unused bags can be used to cover left overs, or a poncho for the unseen thunderstorm (p.s. those damn chihuahuas always laugh at my plastic ponchos) and at times the bags also make great water balloons. When I arrived at the Arlington Beach I went for a jog near the water and ran into an old friend of mine, Willie. It was good to see him. Willie is one of those friends I can not see or hear from for a year, but when I do, we can catch up in like ten minutes. He's left his wife, Virgie, sometime after the Holidays. He said she had changed quite a bit over the years, but I kinda think it might be over Willie's drinking problem. He always was the life of the party. I'm sure he's brought his cooler today. Just hope it doesn't end up like last year when I had to practically carry him across the street to his Shirlington Beach House. He still has marks on his shoulders from me accidently running him into part of the back steps and wouldn't you know it.............just as we round the corner who did we see but Eunice. God is she a hottie. Willie and her used to date of course. Who hasn't he licked? Eunice at first looked like she was just bathing in the Northern Virginia sun but upon closer examination it looked as if she might have had one too many Bloody Mary's over at the Luna Brunch. I don't think she even realized she had a stalk of celery in her mouth she hadn't fully chewed. It was cute to see her and Willy together for a few seconds. It always seemed they got a long nicer in the outdoors and after a few vodka stingers. Willie kept bringing up the Summer of '99 when someone stole Eunice's top while she was skinnydipping with those Terriers afterdark. Once again those poop bags came in very handy. Eunice always was very handy with some thread. It was really good to see her and know she still has a sense of humor, but then the weirdest thing happened. Right before the Best Buns Contest. Now this contest has been held on the Arlington Beach for at least like ten years and this year Willie is supposed to be a judge but declines and puts my name in the hat, well long story longer............I have never pinched, sniffed, slapped or wiffed more buns in my life. I think it's ironic there's a Best Buns Bakery open over on the strip all night for us after hours alcoholics. This was Candy. She had a great smile but a few cavities if you know what I mean. I think she would have won if she just would've tended to the garden once in a while. She did leave with a gift certificate to Books A Million, one of the sponsors for this years event. Afterwards I looked for Willie, but he was nowhere to be found. oh well. I was just leaving the event when my heart stopped. You know, one of those moments you feel like you just swallowed a cicada but rather than going to your stomach it detoured right to your briefs. Anyway...........Sweet Pea. I ran into Sweet Pea. I haven't seen her since we broke up four years ago. She looked great of course and was suprised she just didn't look the other way. But we both somehow savored the glance. We were young, I was too busy acting like I was single and she was too busy acting like we were already married. Life has a funny way of making us realize what we once thought was the unrealizable. Is that a word? ooh well. She said she figured she would find me judging the best buns of arlington and that's when I asked her why she hadn't entered. Back in the day she had buns you could bounce a treat on. There was one thing though, that absolutely, drove me crazy. She has this tongue that sorta always hangs a little out of her mouth. Growing up other dogs would call her "Licky, Licky", "Frenchy" and what was the other one, Oh yeah, "Lick and Stick". But somehow seeing her in her grown up years being more confident I found it a little becoming. I would never cheat on my Sadie Lady but I thought Sweet Pea had sorta grown into her face a little. We didn't talk of the past, only the future. She's married to a Dr. His name is Hamilton Quinn and she lives in North Arlington and just opened a cute trendy card shop called "Buy, Write, Lick, Send" I thought it sounded cute. I told her I was currently unemployed but was looking for a job close to home or possibly at home,or on my couch preferably. She said jokingly "Somethings never change". And I said, a little pissed, "Yeah........like your tongue". Anyway, where the hell is Willie? I looked all over for him. Ran into Buddy and Ralph who were playing on the dunes. They gave me a few glasses of "Purple Jesus" and we sat and laughed at some of the fat breeds. Wow, now-a-days these breeds must eat grain. I'm talking if you wanna talk to that ass Dial-1. I'm saying Chicks with their own zip code. wow, Funny, after a couple of the purple jesus brew some of those fatties looked kinda cute. Must be the heat. Wanted to find Willie to say goodbye. I said goodbye to Buddy and Ralph who at this point were behind some poisonous bush lighting up a joint. They didn't even see me leave. Purple Jesus made me make a few bathroom breaks over by the rocks and what do ya know? Eunice is still laid out. She hasn't moved since earlier, it is now like getting toward the evening. I hope she's not still on the diet pills. She never could hold her liquor. I started to leave and she asked me to come a little closer. I did, and she tried to chew on my ear followed by an open mouth kiss. I very politely excused myself and told her that I had to go and maybe take Willie home and she quickly wrote down her cell and said after I got Willie to bed maybe I could give her a call. wow, this led me right back to Ralph and Buddy's for one more glass of Purple Jesus and one drag of that joint. Clearly, this day has to end. I got my drink, got my drag and quickly the day was dying and everyone started to leave. It seemed like I was the last one there. It was nice to have some alone time. I thought I'd sit by the beach and savor the last bit of spring break. I think I must have been a little dehydrated because just as quick as i had strolled down by the water and sat down I ended somehow face first down in the waves. soaked!!!!!! Ugh !!!!! Great, I'm too tipsy to even play it off like I meant to do it, so I just compose myself and brush my soggy hair over to one side of my head and regain my enjoyment of the view of Arlington Beach. I said my goodbyes to the sea and bid adieu. Memories of Willie, Buddy, Ralph, Sweet Pea and Eunice kept me company on the long walk back, but as the sun started to set I could tell I might need a wrap. I beelined over to some strangers clothes line and pulled down some Aztec looking thing that evidently had been hung out to dry. Wrapped myself up and tried to remind myself that the walk home wouldn't be too long. I had the hiccups from Purple Jesus and was thinking maybe I should've bought a little of that weed from Buddy, but somehow was consoled with the thought of getting a hot shower and crawling in my bed. I wonder if Sweet Pea will email? or if Willie will give me a call the next time he's down over at the Bungalow? Who knows? Got home, it had just begun to rain and I hopped in the shower. For those of you who have never showered after 3 purple jesus' and a little doobage, Don't do it!!!!!! I was so trashed I forgot to rinse off, then I almost cracked my head while trying to get sand out of my paws and then on my third try I used conditioner twice, oh well, I was gone. Needed to hit the hay. I toweled off, did a few "I still have it" poses in the mirror and ate a little leftovers before hitting the hay. I was just in time to catch the re-play of Oprah. Yeah, there's nothing more I enjoy before I go to bed than listening to someone who doesn't need to go to bed or eat or drink or anything because evidently SHE'S DONE EVERYTHING PERFECTLY. Wish she'd walk in my shoes one day, she'd realize that some creatures on this earth have to lick their ass. oh well. I snuggled my George W. doll who somehow makes me feel there's still hope in the world for simple pugs like me to make it and be president with no qualifications and no ambitions. good night all, wow, Pugs gone Wild. I don't think I'll be back next year. I'm getting a little long in the jowls. But I will miss the Hot Thongs, Chili Dogs and Waves, we'll see what happens. Good night George, Good night Know it all Oprah and Good night All.

Spring Cleaning

2006-03-27T18:09:00.000-08:00

Monday 10pm..........What an exhausting day. Woke up very early this morning. Had the day to myself. After the Same Sex Couple left, I caught a little more shut eye right by the beautiful skyline view of Fairlington. What a lovely scene of automobiles, pavement and arlington intellectuals. It was midday when I finally motivated myself to do something. I gave myself a quick PAT bath(Peeny, Ass, Titties) and then decided to go through my "wears". I hate doing it, but after awhile one does acquire too much. And as much as I hate to admit it, some of these garments given by my very loving "fruit loops", quite frankly might look much nicer on someone elses rack. I'm almost certain some of these "gifts" were borrowed from some summer stock storage somewhere and just never returned. Well, I just want to see what still fits, looks good or quite possibly is still "in. Ok, the truth is I've gained a few pounds and wanna motivate myself to go shopping or maybe go back on South Bitch.
This first Collegiate look was really cute when I had those Abbercrummie "Abs", but now it looks like something Mamaw made.

And this Orange Hawaii Five-O Magnum P.I. South Pacific Costume Peice clearly is something I might just have to keep back for the occasional "theme" party.

This black number is kinda cute, it does have my native language and all on the back.
However, as you will see, in the next shot, I believe this "thong" J. Lo look is out. Plus at my age should I honestly be wearing a T-back? .....and it's not even a T, it's a Double T, there's two freaking strings, it's a wonder I haven't whistled in public yet wearing this number...........But there is that annual trip to the Rehobreath Beach............Na, I'll just buy something else and tell the Happy Guys that I think I accidently chewed it or something. I might just save it for a rainy thong day, who knows.

Ok, the Hat Box: What the hell is this? Did I buy this thing? A red........Abu, from Alladin Hat? I'm gonna have to vote no, I think I look freakish,.........it doesn't really frame my face.....nor does it match any accesory I own. I guess I could keep it for the next "Shriner" convention, but this next hat takes the cake.

I think this was definetly Summer Stock. With my dark Asian features, I never have been able to pull off the Mexican look. Might keep it for Sinko de Mayo.

On to the Brown Wrap, The Turd Cape or as I love to call it The Sexual Chocolate Stole. I'm not sure if I should keep this one or not, but it is lovely on cool patio nights and is great for using the bathroom while staying dressed. I think I'll keep this one.
Finally, "ol faithful". This little red guy has seen it all. I know it's doesn't do a lot for me, but it fits well and feels good. Truth be told, I wore this guy on one of my specia

l evenings with my gal Sadie and I can still smell her Love Potion #9. So I think this is a keeper. Don't tell the "Dads". Ok, that was my day of Spring Clean

ing. I didn't find my Pugs for Peace T, if anyone borrowed it or something bring it back. There's a march in DC next month.

love, Boo

To S-

2006-03-23T17:15:00.000-08:00

My dearest Sadie. It seems forever. Sorry about the delay, i've been busy acting like I'm interested in whatever is being discussed in the house. Dad's show closed, "Ever Or". Thank god, kinda depressing. Mom's been busy with the Day job. Met a new friend. His name is Fahred. He was in Dim Yank Ease with Mom and I think he makes wine. He smells of two felines but my allergies are getting better so I find it easy to snuggle with him after I get used to the smell. Saw old man Riggleman today and you know that joke we played when you over last month? Well, let's just say his bush is now brown and yellow and kinda dead. Felt bad. Acted like I was shocked when I saw it but I think he thought I looked suspicious. He totally knows it was us. So much for that contest in his garden. Ok, I'm still a little sore for losing. Miss you, hope all is great in Noo Yorck. It's been kinda cold here. Went on a walk today and it was a little too cold without my sweater. Mom and Dad sometimes forget that my tail goes up and not down. We're watching men's figure skating on TV right now. Gay, Gay, Gay. I'm pretending to be asleep for most of it. I did look up every time someone fell, thought it was funny. I think the skaters should be called "twirlies". I think it's fitting somehow. I know this is totally off the subject but I thought you looked awesome the last time you were here. You know I love it when you grow your hair out for winter. I'm sure you really turn some heads in the city. That's my "Sadie lady". I'm including a pic I took of you before you left. I think it's cute. That coat from Nordstroms is totally bitchin'. If you think of it, get your folks to get one for me. I swear I think all of my clothes are either found or stolen from some other mutt. I mean, ever since the fire and all, things have been a little sparce on my side of the dresser. Oh well, just a few more weeks and i won't have to worry about that red sweater that cuts up my back like a J. Lo thong and is so tight make my neck have more chins than a chinese menu. I miss you Sades and I'll talk with you soon. Please write and I'm still stealing change off the floor for our Toronto trip. Love, Boo P.S.- Some "twirlie" just fell. Fuckin' funny!!

Unswallowing

2006-03-19T14:45:00.000-08:00

12:05 p.m. I think Daddy went to work this mornin. Either that or he had to speak in church. He's been gone awhile and Mom has been away all night. Probably another night at "Wet". Anyway's I'm relaxing in my gorgeous crimson seat just beside the window secretly letting stinkers and smiling at all the yuppies outside. The window seemed a little cool to the touch so I reveled in the fact that I was cozy and content inside. After a few moments of bathing a few parts which probably should not have been (being by the window and such), oh well, I decided to see if there was just a crumb or two left over in my food bowl from last nights dinner. Upon arrival I noticed one of the strange shaped "cookie" things that they always leave me because they feel bad about leaving and they think that I like them. It only took one wif to know. Oh well. I'll just taste a little. Doesn't really taste like much I convinced myself so I carried to my seat and gnawed. It only took a few minutes to realize my swallowing. It seemed to slowly increase. Like when you get a hair in your mouth or when you smell chicken. All the sudden. I knew it. I was gonna get sick. What do I do? Maybe back in the food bowl. Screw that, that's where I eat! Under the chair, NO, they'll smell it. Downstairs?....Downstairs it is!!! I'll let it go in the closet right by the shoes and by the time they find it, they'll think it was perhaps related to a past gathering or from that horrible sewage backup last week. Down the steps I go. Into the walk-in closet. I knew I couldn't hold it much more. I swallowed and swallowed until I gave way and UNswallowed all over the floor right beside that one pair of shoes Daddy has been wearing since college that he really thinks are still in and none of his friends have had the courage to tell him otherwise. I sighed a long exhale and felt so relieved. Isn't it weird that everything that comes out of the body feels awesome. I won't list the items, but think about it. Sweat, Crap,etc...............Puke, tears............anyway, I decided to continue my lazy day on the crimson seat when I realized that someone stood over me. Oh shit. I bowed my head and tried to cut my eyes but couldn't. Turned and I could tell by the shoes. the boots. It was MOM!!! OOPs!! sorry, just a little puke. Well anyways, it wasn't as embarrassing as it could have been and Mom wasn't mad. She picks up crap for a living and there's a part of me deep down that think she likes it. Anyway, it's been a pukey day and for anyone listening, don't eat those little cookies that aren't. They're vicious little shit biscuits. Can't wait til dinner.

R and R

2006-03-17T20:21:00.000-08:00

It's 11 a. m. FINALLY!!!! The gay folks are gone. Daddy's off to the gay gold's gym and Mommy's quick at work picking up left overs. The most distressing thing this morning is the remote is way out of reach and one of these fuckers left on LOGO. Great another Foreign Gay Film Marathon. Today's list of things seen include: The UPS man, the Lesbian next door, a bird and that stupid cat from the neighbors that looks like an over-blown butt booger. I'm probably gonna spend the day napping. Kinda tired. The gays got home really late last night and kept me up bitching about Musical Theatre crap. My parents really need to get a life. I just found out this week that I was adopted. Kinda depressing. My real father is a black pug and my mom is a fawn pug. I guess that makes me blawn. Oh well. It could be worse. Still not sure how I feel about the gay folks but they feed me well and always have really cool stuff to chew on. Just don't want people to think that having gay parents make me gay. I'm totally into chicks. Speaking of chicks, I really, really miss this one chick, Eleasha who's got a great "rack". Nothing like a nice cushion for the naps, if you know what I mean. I think she's in Laska doing some musical about Air, that's what the gays say. Well, guess I better catch up on the shut eye since I never know how drunk the folks will be later, might have to take care of them a little. Hope they bring home one of those cheap pizzas from the Seven Eleven. Love em. Now it's time for a little peace and quiet and some zzzzzzzzzzz's with an annoying gay cable show.